A moment of insecurity.....

Insecure?  Maybe.  Scared?  Definitely.  Worth it?  I know it will be.

Change to me has always been scary, but I have noticed that the "older" I get, the less scared I am of it.  Be it business, personal, creative.....ANYTHING.  Those that "knew" me in high school would have never imagined that {{ I }} would ever dye my hair pink and blue, walk away from a medical career, move away from my hometown, and be the person I am today!

Believe it or not, I was quiet in high school, had my tight group of friends but was friendly to all the "groups."  I miss those days ((nahhhh who am I foolin'))  I miss my friends, but found out soon after graduation that those that meant the most would always be there, regardless.

Now I am really tossing around the idea of relocation with my husband.  If my mom figures out how to get on my blog and she reads this, she will quite possibly do something illegal to keep me from going if the time comes.  I have always dreamed of living on or near the beach, San Diego or San Francisco would be ideal, but I would settle for somewhere nice and pretty in Florida....or even North Carolina.  Who am I kiddin' I really just want to be able to say that I got away and did what I wanted and didn't let anything or anyone hold me back.  Nico is all for it, the kids are too young to know or really even care and if I could hire someone to pack up my house ((Lord knows I am not going to do that)) I would be ready to go in the morning.

Have you made it this far?  If so you get to read what the post is really about ;)  Change. My business. My dream.  My life.  Photography.  I have grown to absolutely adore what I do and I love everything about it.  I love that I am so close to each of my clients.  I love that they know we are friends and not just people that "know" one another.  I love that I am the one that they allow to create their images that will last a lifetime for those that come into their lives.  I love that I spend every single night of my life editing away to make each picture perfect.  For me.  For you.  For them.  I wouldn't change a thing about it, but change has come and I don't know if the reaction is what I had hoped for.

A couple weeks ago I created this blog, created a new Facebook, made an "investment" page that explained my new packaging and pricing.  I significantly dropped my session fee to account for package pricing and knew that I would be met with both like and dislike, but I feel that I need to explain why I did what I did for those that are upset with packages and pricing.

Two paragraphs up, I said the word "love" A LOT and that is what I want you to remember.  I LOVE what I do and I want you to LOVE it too.  If you think back 20 years ago ((or less even)) do you remember floppy disks?  Could you get information off one today?  Who is to say that in 20 more years  you will be able to get information off of a CD?  What will we do if we can't show our grandchildren what we looked like in 50 years?

Please also note that though I don't want to HARP on this, photography is my means of income.  I don't get paid vacations, I have no retirement plan, I pay 35% of my income back in taxes every 3 months, I have no sick pay.  You may think that I am rolling in money, but that is so far from the truth that it is silly.  I do what I love because I love what I do.  I could easily walk away from all this and go back to nursing (another J-O-B) that I love, but I don't want to.  I want to be known as one of the BEST photographers and I am so far from that right now it is crazy, but I strive to be better every single day.  Everything I do costs money, the props I buy, the prints I order, the gift certificates I give away, the advertising I pay for, the thousands of dollars in equipment, samples, computers, software, photoshop actions, branding, gasoline, caffeine -- :0) --  That is not even the beginning of it, but I said I wouldn't HARP!

With all this said, I want you to understand that I LOVE you, I love what I do, I am here to stay and I will be successful....in life, in business, in family, in love!  Please consider this when you are wondering why you have to pay little ole me to do your photos, capture your memories, make them perfect and deliver them to you with the most respect and care!

I <3 you!
Natalie Renae